DLsite

DL Site English! Most Porn Dude readers are content to stroke their cocks while watching beautiful lesbians tribbing, or strapping a futuristic sex box to their face to fist fuck hotties in virtual reality. Then you’ve got your hentai perverts. You kinky cartoon lovers would rather shake your dicks at a big-titted ninja slut getting railed in an animated videogame cutscene or a pornographic manga based on Pokémon Go. There ain’t no shame in it, and I won’t even tell you to go back to Reddit with the rest of your neckbeard, virgin loser friends. In fact, today I’m going to look at DLsite, an online shop full of that kinky hentai shit you love.

DLsite.com has been around for a long fucking time (the copyright at the bottom of the screen says 1996), but since it’s a Japanese site Westerners are still just finding out about it. It’s practically a goddamn Internet institution, though, getting around 60 million visits per month. And you thought your mom was popular!

Welcome to Japan, Here’s Your Complementary 18+ Schoolgirl

The layout of DLsite is just a little bit cluttered. That just seems to be part of the Japanese website aesthetic, because every JAV page I’ve ever seen looks like someone vomited a bunch of text and anime 18+ schoolgirl thumbnails all over the screen. With that in mind, this online shop looks pretty clean for a place that sells hentai video games and monster girl porno.

The front page of the English section of the site is full of hand-selected DLsite Picks in a number of different categories. Their current featured games include a fox girl entering an impregnation monster and an interactive foot fetish story called Want to Be Trampled by the Same Girl! The exclamation point is there’s, not mine, but I agree with the surprise/excitement. It’s not your standard BDSM femdom scene where a bitch steps on a dude. This giant broad puts guys in her cooter, eats them and squishes dudes to a bloody mess. Oh, she also does some golden showers that must fall like yellow waterfalls.

Goddamn, you hentai freaks never cease to amaze me. I look at the most depraved shit on the Internet all day long, every day, but I’m still surprised by the depravity I see within minutes of loading up any hentai website.

Featured animations right now include an taboo movie about a 18+ schoolgirl who likes Papa’s penis more than her boyfriend’s, a titty job from a French maid with boobs way bigger than her head, and one where a dude gets fucked by a cave full of goblins. Their current manga/CG picks include hungry beasts violating women, anime (18+)girls getting hypnotized and humped, and a ton of fucking taboo. They really love keeping it in the family out there in the Land of the Rising Sun, don’t they?

An Online Porn Shop with a User’s Guide?

DLsite has a User’s Guide linked in the sidebar of the page. It’s kind of an unusual thing to see displayed so prominently on something as common as an online porn shop, so I had to take a look. It mostly seems like really basic shit for retards who don’t know how to use the web. There is some interesting info mixed in though.

DLsite claims to be one of the biggest online shops dedicated to otaku in Japan, and I can believe that. They got over 100,000 doujinshi, indie games and other content. It’s all digital sales, with nothing to buy through the mail and worry about your mom finding before you can get your jizz all over it.

You can also submit your own material and finally start getting paid for those inverted shitting dick-nipple comics you’ve been drawing in your free time. All the smut on the front page looks so polished and professional that I didn’t realize it was all homebrew doujinshi and not commercially available hentai.

The one major bummer I found on DLsite’s Users Guide is something I should have seen coming. Since they are based in Japan, the porn is all censored in accordance with Japanese law. You’ll find some of the kinkiest, freakiest and most depraved obscenity on the site — from interspecies sex between tentacle demons and cheerleaders to realistic loli/mommy CG scenes that would send the local church ladies into histrionics — but you’re not allowed to look at an unobscured vagina, penis, or butthole that’s been penetrated. (Naked assholes are okay in Japanese porno as long as nothing has been in them yet.)

It’s probably worth noting that DLsite also offers non-pornographic material, just in case you’re browsing with a soft Jimmy right now. I know my readers, though, so I’ve helpfully linked to the English language, adult-oriented side of the site.

Digging Through the Hentai Pile

This is a pretty huge mountain of vampire gangbangs, loli sex spas and cute little wolf girls masturbating for their uncles in CG sex comics. With over 100,000 items on the menu, this could get a little bit overwhelming. Fortunately, since DLsite has been around so long, they’ve had time to develop a solid infrastructure for digging through that huge pile of animated/illustrated smut.

The first way to browse is by Format. Dive into the Anime, Voice, Manga or Illustrations categories, or check out the Games. Those are divided further into subgenres like RPG, Action and Digital Novels.

I prefer to browse DLsite by Interest/Fetish. That’s partly because I am a seriously depraved pervert, and partly because I really appreciate the whole train-wreck WTF element of these hentai sites. It’s pretty clear from looking at their most popular content that DLsite’s bread and butter ain’t tame, timid, vanilla cartoon smut. This is porn for the true deviates just like you.

A Little Something for the True Pervs

It should come as no real surprise that the Big Breasts category on DLsite is jam-packed full of oversize mammaries, nearly 21,000 as of today. Giant boobs are popular on any adult website, though. What’s surprising, at least if you ain’t a daily hentai masturbator, are their other major crowd-pleasers on the site.

They’ve currently got more than 2000 bits of Monster Girl smut in their collection, and 3000 featuring Interspecies Sex. Pregnancy is popular, with over 6000 pieces, making baby bumps just a little more popular on the site than girls with penises, a.k.a. futanari.

Of course, we’re talking about Japan here, so bitches getting all fat with offspring inside them are just another everyday kink. If you’re ready to get just a little bit freakier, they’ve got over 8500 bits of homemade Japanese hentai porn tagged with Tentacle.

Oh, and you like seeing girls taking hot loads inside their bodies, right? I mean seeing those cumshots from right inside of the girl. It’s something you just never see in video porno because you can’t really shoot it, but it’s wildly popular in the world of hentai, dirty manga and anime sex. DLsite has nearly 27,000 items with the Internal Cumshot tag.

Finding That Really Weird Shit You’re Into

If all the categories and formats seem a little bit overwhelming, no worries, because they have a pretty solid Advanced Search. When there’s money to be made, expect the store to make it easier for you to spend it, whether it’s on discounted cans of soup or DIY sex comics about a girl who uses magic to get her dad to stick his fingers in her twat.

You can search by all the standard parameters like keyword and title, and use all the standard sort methods like popularity or date added. Where the search really shines is the ability to narrow options down by format and a ridiculous range of genres. If you’re on a budget, set a price range.

If you’re on a really, truly serious budget, like you might not make rent if you jerk off again, try the Free section. I expected one or two free, half-baked mangas that nobody was buying, but it appears to be a rotating selection of spank-worthy smut.

Online stores don’t last this long if they have shitty prices, lousy material, or bad interfaces that make it hard to find the good stuff. DLsite ain’t fucking around with any of that, which helps explain their longevity and wild popularity. It’s one of the biggest stores of its kind and it doesn’t cost a penny to browse, so hentai fans owe it to themselves to at least take a look.